BullyingEndsHere.ca:
Myth #1 - "Children have got to learn to stand up for themselves."
Reality - Children who get up the courage to complain about being bullied are saying they've tried a
nd can't cope with the situation on their own. Treat their complaints as a call for help. In addition to offering support, it can be helpful to provide children with problem solving and assertiveness training to assist them in dealing with difficult situations.
Myth #2 - "Children should hit back - only harder."
Reality - This could cause serious harm. People who bully are often bigger and more powerful than their victims. This also gives children the idea that violence is a legitimate way to solve problems. Children learn how to bully by watching adults use their power for aggression. Adults have the opportunity to set a good example by teaching children how to solve problems by using their power in appropriate ways.
Myth #3 - "It builds character."
Reality - Children who are bullied repeatedly, have low self-esteem and do not trust others. Bullying damages a person's self-concept.
Myth #4 - "Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you."
Reality - Scars left by name-calling can last a lifetime.
Myth #5 - "That's not bullying. They're just teasing."
Reality - Vicious taunting hurts and should be stopped.
Myth #6 - "There have always been bullies and there always will be."
Reality - By working together as parents, teachers and students we have the power to change things and create a better future for our children. As a leading expert, Shelley Hymel, says, "It takes a whole nation to change a culture". Let's work together to change attitudes about bullying. After all, bullying is not a discipline issue - it is a teaching moment.
Myth #7 - "Kids will be kids."
Reality - Bullying is a learned behaviour. Children may be imitating aggressive behaviour they have seen on television, in movies or at home. Research shows that 93% of video games reward violent behaviour. Additional findings show that 25% of boys aged 12 to 17 regularly visit gore and hate internet sites, but that media literacy classes decreased the boys' viewing of violence, as well as their acts of violence in the playground. It is important for adults to discuss violence in the media with youth, so they can learn how to keep it in context. There is a need to focus on changing attitudes toward violence.
Saturday 10 November 2012
Life at 600 Commissioners
Perspective from the bottom of the chain of blame: The Letter Carrier / Delivery Agent. The place to place the burden of bad planning, where you can hide all your mistakes and not be held accountable, because everyone knows a letter carrier's shoulders can support the world.
Pre transformation, as an RLC, I had the chance to work with my supervisor for a couple of weeks on Route Measurement. We went out and walked the new routes. We paced all the houses and buildings that were without time values. Every new route had them. We wanted to add the values before the move so that at least the carriers would be paid for the time they were spending out on the streets. We also went over the designated parking spots for each park and loop, and realized that being Toronto, half of them were not legal. Half of them were either on main traffic intersections or in front of fire hydrants. My supervisor sent off this information we collected diligently in emails every day. At the end of the month, a week before the move she finally got a response to the emails. It was this: Nothing was to be done, no time was to be added to the routes and they were fixing nothing till after the move.
All of our work was dismissed and filed away in a folder under a desk somewhere - to be fixed in the future.
After the move, First day on the job P/T, I'm second wave. The man I'm sharing a case with I've worked with for 10 years. He's active in CUPW, and spent a few years as the station union rep. He's not tied out yet and he's freaking. None of the tie out numbers match his header board. This is his last day. Appalled and overwhelmed he will bring half his mail back after trying to sort it out by nightfall. Goodbye - Jake. You will be missed.
It takes me 12 hours to complete my assigned route. Half the staff is not back when I get to the station, including first wave.
Within the first week we lose a few more carriers. Not to retirement but because they can't complete their job. A few more get taken out by injury. We are understaffed. The station is without an evening supervisor. A few weeks later we are told our evening supervisor is dead. After 30 years of service, being stuck on evenings without a choice has put him over the edge.
Thus begins the rotating stress leave of all the supervisors, in my station and the two on either side.
Injuries continue. There is pressure from above to lean on us for booking overtime and bringing mail back. The superintendent is overwhelmed, and running around outside with an orange safety vest policing parking outside, so that they don't tow those of us who are parked against the fire route wall. His eyes are red - permanently from this moment on.
A month goes by - A few more seniors go on stress leave. A few more are placed on modified duties. We now share a night time supervisor with the neighbouring station. He begins locking the off loading area doors at 6 pm, because he can't police them. Most of us on second wave come back in between 7 and 9pm. Yes that's a 12 hour day. We now have to off load at the back of the station and carry the stuff half a city block to the front before we can dock our PDT's and call it a day.
On one particular day, there is a black out at the station. I'm training an driver so we return early that day at 4 pm. We find a term at a case trying to sort in the dark. I confront the evening supervisor, telling him that this man needs help. I'm told that he showed up, so he has to complete his duties and there is no help. The man I am training and I help him tie out because he is in tears, and he goes off to start his 8 hours of delivery at 5:30 pm.
I've seen more adults crying and breaking down then ever before in my life.
Over the mail. Let's get some perspective here - this is not a job that people are going to die if it doesn't get done - it's mail.
During the hurricane we continue to deliver. We don't stop. We do what we're told. We are now told we have to have a supervisor document it if we are going to be booking overtime that day. We are also told that we will be disciplined if we put up our sequenced mail. As an RLC, I can tell you that half of the routes have sequenced mail that is unsequenced. This means delays. This means that if you don't put it up and organize it yourself, it won't be going out that day.
I am exhausted. The park and loops designated for the new routes have you carrying on average, three times the amount from stopping at relay boxes in the past. My shoulders are killing me.
At home my children are living on junk food. I break down for the first time one night when I get home at 8:30pm, and they greet me at the door with pizza. "Surprise!" they say, "We bought pizza with our birthday money." I'm touched and heartbroken at the same time.
I'm not alone. How are you supposed to parent, when you only have at tops 3 waking hours a day? In that time you have to cook, clean, listen to stories of bullies and bad marks and computers that just won't work, walk the dog, celebrate their victories... it's impossible. I'm failing as a mother.
One night a young woman in our station is crying in front of the shared nighttime supervisor's desk. "It's my birthday," she says, "I have to get home, my kids are throwing me a surprise party." She's crying because the supervisor told her she has to go out again. His job is to say that we cannot bring mail back before 8 pm. Canada Post and the Union agree we can deliver till then.
Now it begins to get dark. My shoulder injuries are making me dizzy when I climb stairs. I look like a drunken sailor out on the streets. My first night I deliver in the pitch black, I get a dozen comments. People are scared that I'm on their property. This can't be done. I bring the mail back at 7:50pm. The supervisor tells me I should have stayed out on the streets till 8. He orders me out for 10 minutes. I laugh and go stand outside.
I complain on my overtime sheet and my supervisor gives me a head light. The next night when I wear it, I begin to get dizzy spells from when the light hits the mail to when I turn my head to the ground.
It can't be done. It's not safe to deliver the mail in the dark. How many people have to get hurt before something is done about this? I've seen so many people young and senior alike burning out, through this whole transformation. When will it get any better?
I tell my kids not to read in the dark with a flash light and yet here I am out walking and reading on peoples' property after dark. It's wrong.
My own conclusion is that we at Canada Post the surviving employees are expendable. Because we can be replaced - it seems to me that they just want to push us out the door. I don't want to feel like my health is an unnecessary concern. I wanted to retire at this job. I was proud at this job, only just months ago. It's disgusting, the way they are treating us. So now I'm asking you. Who cares? Who can fix this? How many people have to get hurt, or have a nervous breakdown, or die even before something is done?
Pre transformation, as an RLC, I had the chance to work with my supervisor for a couple of weeks on Route Measurement. We went out and walked the new routes. We paced all the houses and buildings that were without time values. Every new route had them. We wanted to add the values before the move so that at least the carriers would be paid for the time they were spending out on the streets. We also went over the designated parking spots for each park and loop, and realized that being Toronto, half of them were not legal. Half of them were either on main traffic intersections or in front of fire hydrants. My supervisor sent off this information we collected diligently in emails every day. At the end of the month, a week before the move she finally got a response to the emails. It was this: Nothing was to be done, no time was to be added to the routes and they were fixing nothing till after the move.
All of our work was dismissed and filed away in a folder under a desk somewhere - to be fixed in the future.
After the move, First day on the job P/T, I'm second wave. The man I'm sharing a case with I've worked with for 10 years. He's active in CUPW, and spent a few years as the station union rep. He's not tied out yet and he's freaking. None of the tie out numbers match his header board. This is his last day. Appalled and overwhelmed he will bring half his mail back after trying to sort it out by nightfall. Goodbye - Jake. You will be missed.
It takes me 12 hours to complete my assigned route. Half the staff is not back when I get to the station, including first wave.
Within the first week we lose a few more carriers. Not to retirement but because they can't complete their job. A few more get taken out by injury. We are understaffed. The station is without an evening supervisor. A few weeks later we are told our evening supervisor is dead. After 30 years of service, being stuck on evenings without a choice has put him over the edge.
Thus begins the rotating stress leave of all the supervisors, in my station and the two on either side.
Injuries continue. There is pressure from above to lean on us for booking overtime and bringing mail back. The superintendent is overwhelmed, and running around outside with an orange safety vest policing parking outside, so that they don't tow those of us who are parked against the fire route wall. His eyes are red - permanently from this moment on.
A month goes by - A few more seniors go on stress leave. A few more are placed on modified duties. We now share a night time supervisor with the neighbouring station. He begins locking the off loading area doors at 6 pm, because he can't police them. Most of us on second wave come back in between 7 and 9pm. Yes that's a 12 hour day. We now have to off load at the back of the station and carry the stuff half a city block to the front before we can dock our PDT's and call it a day.
On one particular day, there is a black out at the station. I'm training an driver so we return early that day at 4 pm. We find a term at a case trying to sort in the dark. I confront the evening supervisor, telling him that this man needs help. I'm told that he showed up, so he has to complete his duties and there is no help. The man I am training and I help him tie out because he is in tears, and he goes off to start his 8 hours of delivery at 5:30 pm.
I've seen more adults crying and breaking down then ever before in my life.
Over the mail. Let's get some perspective here - this is not a job that people are going to die if it doesn't get done - it's mail.
During the hurricane we continue to deliver. We don't stop. We do what we're told. We are now told we have to have a supervisor document it if we are going to be booking overtime that day. We are also told that we will be disciplined if we put up our sequenced mail. As an RLC, I can tell you that half of the routes have sequenced mail that is unsequenced. This means delays. This means that if you don't put it up and organize it yourself, it won't be going out that day.
I am exhausted. The park and loops designated for the new routes have you carrying on average, three times the amount from stopping at relay boxes in the past. My shoulders are killing me.
At home my children are living on junk food. I break down for the first time one night when I get home at 8:30pm, and they greet me at the door with pizza. "Surprise!" they say, "We bought pizza with our birthday money." I'm touched and heartbroken at the same time.
I'm not alone. How are you supposed to parent, when you only have at tops 3 waking hours a day? In that time you have to cook, clean, listen to stories of bullies and bad marks and computers that just won't work, walk the dog, celebrate their victories... it's impossible. I'm failing as a mother.
One night a young woman in our station is crying in front of the shared nighttime supervisor's desk. "It's my birthday," she says, "I have to get home, my kids are throwing me a surprise party." She's crying because the supervisor told her she has to go out again. His job is to say that we cannot bring mail back before 8 pm. Canada Post and the Union agree we can deliver till then.
Now it begins to get dark. My shoulder injuries are making me dizzy when I climb stairs. I look like a drunken sailor out on the streets. My first night I deliver in the pitch black, I get a dozen comments. People are scared that I'm on their property. This can't be done. I bring the mail back at 7:50pm. The supervisor tells me I should have stayed out on the streets till 8. He orders me out for 10 minutes. I laugh and go stand outside.
I complain on my overtime sheet and my supervisor gives me a head light. The next night when I wear it, I begin to get dizzy spells from when the light hits the mail to when I turn my head to the ground.
It can't be done. It's not safe to deliver the mail in the dark. How many people have to get hurt before something is done about this? I've seen so many people young and senior alike burning out, through this whole transformation. When will it get any better?
I tell my kids not to read in the dark with a flash light and yet here I am out walking and reading on peoples' property after dark. It's wrong.
My own conclusion is that we at Canada Post the surviving employees are expendable. Because we can be replaced - it seems to me that they just want to push us out the door. I don't want to feel like my health is an unnecessary concern. I wanted to retire at this job. I was proud at this job, only just months ago. It's disgusting, the way they are treating us. So now I'm asking you. Who cares? Who can fix this? How many people have to get hurt, or have a nervous breakdown, or die even before something is done?
Monday 5 December 2011
December 5th. 2011. Bullying still exists. Fuck.
Today my daughter Emily came home and told me that her friend was bullied at school by her teacher. When her teacher thought the girl was being uncooperative she decided to have the rest of the class face her and sing Christmas carols at her. I'm happy my daughter refused. And walked out after her friend when she left the class sad. I'm also happy that she stood up to someone especially since it was particularly hard because it was her teacher, someone in authority over her.
I'm disgusted that she even has to take things into her own hands and make decisions like that. But her friend knows that she has one person on her side. And sometimes that makes all the difference in the world.
Sunday 4 December 2011
Nothing makes me want to nurture and protect more then this...
http://www.samesame.com.au/news/international/7702/Jonah-Mowrys-cry-for-help.htm
Tuesday 23 August 2011
An old friend posted this on FB. Thought it fit perfectly here
Bullying by Nelio Vespera
Calling them FAKE won't make you REAL
Calling them DUMB wont make you SMART
Calling them WEAK won't make you STRONG
Calling them UGLY won't make you BEAUTIFUL
Calling them MEAN won't make you NICE
Calling them GAY won't make you STRAIGHT
Calling them RUDE won't make you POLITE
Calling them FAKE won't make you REAL
Calling them DUMB wont make you SMART
Calling them WEAK won't make you STRONG
Calling them UGLY won't make you BEAUTIFUL
Calling them MEAN won't make you NICE
Calling them GAY won't make you STRAIGHT
Calling them RUDE won't make you POLITE
Sunday 17 July 2011
Just how accountable do you hold yourself?
OrSpell Check Your Text
Language: English (change)
Do we create our own destiny by the choices we make? If so should we re-evaluate our actions in emotionally drawn situations?
My first train of thought is based on atheism, the thought process that logically suggests the result of our actions is as random as throwing chips up into the air and where ever they fall they fall.
The second train of thought is more of a belief, in karma or fate. Those that believe what they do has an impact on the future. People that have the ability to think about what they do before they act. It's harder then you think for most of us. Especially under pressure when you just react without thinking and then you are left to pick up the pieces and humbly try again... This is the hardest choice of reasoning because it involves discipline and ownership of blame, and reconstructing of self destructive patterns.
The last train of thought I wanted to explore is that there is some superior design for what happens, that everything is already predetermined and what we do has very little to do with some master plan. I'm inclined not to put much faith in that way of thinking, as it leaves little room for consequence and self growth. But I had to put it in here, since SO many people make room for it in their own heads.
So which are you? You can be little bits of all three, but I just wanted to know...
Language: English (change)
Do we create our own destiny by the choices we make? If so should we re-evaluate our actions in emotionally drawn situations?
My first train of thought is based on atheism, the thought process that logically suggests the result of our actions is as random as throwing chips up into the air and where ever they fall they fall.
The second train of thought is more of a belief, in karma or fate. Those that believe what they do has an impact on the future. People that have the ability to think about what they do before they act. It's harder then you think for most of us. Especially under pressure when you just react without thinking and then you are left to pick up the pieces and humbly try again... This is the hardest choice of reasoning because it involves discipline and ownership of blame, and reconstructing of self destructive patterns.
The last train of thought I wanted to explore is that there is some superior design for what happens, that everything is already predetermined and what we do has very little to do with some master plan. I'm inclined not to put much faith in that way of thinking, as it leaves little room for consequence and self growth. But I had to put it in here, since SO many people make room for it in their own heads.
So which are you? You can be little bits of all three, but I just wanted to know...
Saturday 26 February 2011
Are you a Sheep?
What is it that drives people to want to fit into society? What is it that actually makes someone feel that they have to fit in in order to be accepted? Why does anyone want to be normal in the first place? I'm asking you in all sincerity because I've never felt it, and I seek to understand it. I know that most people crave it, or are told to by the media, the government, magazines, television, and even their own parents.
I don't understand. I've never told my children or anyone else's that, "No - you can't wear that out in public. What will other people say? No, you can't dye your hair, get a tattoo, or even think that way." Or how about, "We don't use words like that in this house." How can society tell you what to think and what to wear? Why do we look to others to choose who we should hang out with or even be?
Recently I was out with a girlfriend of mine who is overly educated, with a master in English Literature. I've known her since high school. She's always been close to me, because of her extreme views on feminism, homosexuality, and class ism. We've always been outcasts together. You'd never know it to look at her. She dresses quite normal, and not at all like in our dark teenage goth years. Anyways... we were discussing bullying in schools. I brought up a few examples of my own children being harassed for what they wear, what they believe and even what hand they use to write with. Barbaric - that's what I don't understand about bullying. Why, with all of our education, and awareness does it still exist?
Mostly I've had a positive outlook on the future. This isn't the 70's anymore. You can be gay and open about it. You can be a girl and be a soldier. You can be left handed and dyslexic and still be brilliant. You can be born into a single parent family and still be accepted as a hard working talented human being, and not be outcast as a nuisance and a burden. Or can you?
My friend suggested that the answer is still no. Even with all of the education in the world, even with awareness days, and laws put into place you will never fit. An outcast is someone who goes against the norm. It will never truly be accepted. Labelling and gay bashing is and still will always be. There is no difference, in grade schools and even up through puberty, if you are different, you are still considered wrong. If you are weak you will be told so.
It's depressing how history repeats itself instead of moving forward. I agree with her though. Even if you educate a tyrant, and tell them how it is wrong to belittle someone else because of their race, religion or sexuality, they still will find some joy in seeing others squirm while they do it. So now I'm thinking the only way to make a difference in our schools is not only to educate the sheep, and the followers, but to dissect the social structure and point out the tyranny and find out what to do with them before they corrupt anyone else. Before they graduate and become our leaders.
It's not likely to happen because people who lead are usually the loudest. The best speakers. And they have a way of sugar coating their own narcissism.
I guess that's why I wanted a place to vent. Because I'm angry about it, and yet can't seem to do anything but write about it. I'm actually asking myself what role it is that I play, and where do I fit if we are dissecting our social structure. What is it that makes me an outcast? I know that I'm not even gay but I'm a tomboy. That's strike one. A big one. I don't have a competitive bone in my body. I prefer the company of children or seniors over the adult working class. I can't swallow any type of injustice and will call people on it if I see it. I prefer to wear dark clothing and enjoy loud music. All not good, apparently. Oh - and I'm raising two girls to be independent free thinkers with their own taint on reality, and allow them to dress how they want and love who they want. Swearing and hair dying is acceptable in my house. So? I guess that's why I'm an outcast, but I'm fairly comfortable with it. As much of a hermit as I've become - I'd still like to exist in a world I can tolerant though. That means protecting my children. That means some things have to change. How that's going to happen in a society like this one - I have no idea. Maybe here on the computer - over time I can work it out.
I don't understand. I've never told my children or anyone else's that, "No - you can't wear that out in public. What will other people say? No, you can't dye your hair, get a tattoo, or even think that way." Or how about, "We don't use words like that in this house." How can society tell you what to think and what to wear? Why do we look to others to choose who we should hang out with or even be?
Recently I was out with a girlfriend of mine who is overly educated, with a master in English Literature. I've known her since high school. She's always been close to me, because of her extreme views on feminism, homosexuality, and class ism. We've always been outcasts together. You'd never know it to look at her. She dresses quite normal, and not at all like in our dark teenage goth years. Anyways... we were discussing bullying in schools. I brought up a few examples of my own children being harassed for what they wear, what they believe and even what hand they use to write with. Barbaric - that's what I don't understand about bullying. Why, with all of our education, and awareness does it still exist?
Mostly I've had a positive outlook on the future. This isn't the 70's anymore. You can be gay and open about it. You can be a girl and be a soldier. You can be left handed and dyslexic and still be brilliant. You can be born into a single parent family and still be accepted as a hard working talented human being, and not be outcast as a nuisance and a burden. Or can you?
My friend suggested that the answer is still no. Even with all of the education in the world, even with awareness days, and laws put into place you will never fit. An outcast is someone who goes against the norm. It will never truly be accepted. Labelling and gay bashing is and still will always be. There is no difference, in grade schools and even up through puberty, if you are different, you are still considered wrong. If you are weak you will be told so.
It's depressing how history repeats itself instead of moving forward. I agree with her though. Even if you educate a tyrant, and tell them how it is wrong to belittle someone else because of their race, religion or sexuality, they still will find some joy in seeing others squirm while they do it. So now I'm thinking the only way to make a difference in our schools is not only to educate the sheep, and the followers, but to dissect the social structure and point out the tyranny and find out what to do with them before they corrupt anyone else. Before they graduate and become our leaders.
It's not likely to happen because people who lead are usually the loudest. The best speakers. And they have a way of sugar coating their own narcissism.
I guess that's why I wanted a place to vent. Because I'm angry about it, and yet can't seem to do anything but write about it. I'm actually asking myself what role it is that I play, and where do I fit if we are dissecting our social structure. What is it that makes me an outcast? I know that I'm not even gay but I'm a tomboy. That's strike one. A big one. I don't have a competitive bone in my body. I prefer the company of children or seniors over the adult working class. I can't swallow any type of injustice and will call people on it if I see it. I prefer to wear dark clothing and enjoy loud music. All not good, apparently. Oh - and I'm raising two girls to be independent free thinkers with their own taint on reality, and allow them to dress how they want and love who they want. Swearing and hair dying is acceptable in my house. So? I guess that's why I'm an outcast, but I'm fairly comfortable with it. As much of a hermit as I've become - I'd still like to exist in a world I can tolerant though. That means protecting my children. That means some things have to change. How that's going to happen in a society like this one - I have no idea. Maybe here on the computer - over time I can work it out.
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