What is it that drives people to want to fit into society? What is it that actually makes someone feel that they have to fit in in order to be accepted? Why does anyone want to be normal in the first place? I'm asking you in all sincerity because I've never felt it, and I seek to understand it. I know that most people crave it, or are told to by the media, the government, magazines, television, and even their own parents.
I don't understand. I've never told my children or anyone else's that, "No - you can't wear that out in public. What will other people say? No, you can't dye your hair, get a tattoo, or even think that way." Or how about, "We don't use words like that in this house." How can society tell you what to think and what to wear? Why do we look to others to choose who we should hang out with or even be?
Recently I was out with a girlfriend of mine who is overly educated, with a master in English Literature. I've known her since high school. She's always been close to me, because of her extreme views on feminism, homosexuality, and class ism. We've always been outcasts together. You'd never know it to look at her. She dresses quite normal, and not at all like in our dark teenage goth years. Anyways... we were discussing bullying in schools. I brought up a few examples of my own children being harassed for what they wear, what they believe and even what hand they use to write with. Barbaric - that's what I don't understand about bullying. Why, with all of our education, and awareness does it still exist?
Mostly I've had a positive outlook on the future. This isn't the 70's anymore. You can be gay and open about it. You can be a girl and be a soldier. You can be left handed and dyslexic and still be brilliant. You can be born into a single parent family and still be accepted as a hard working talented human being, and not be outcast as a nuisance and a burden. Or can you?
My friend suggested that the answer is still no. Even with all of the education in the world, even with awareness days, and laws put into place you will never fit. An outcast is someone who goes against the norm. It will never truly be accepted. Labelling and gay bashing is and still will always be. There is no difference, in grade schools and even up through puberty, if you are different, you are still considered wrong. If you are weak you will be told so.
It's depressing how history repeats itself instead of moving forward. I agree with her though. Even if you educate a tyrant, and tell them how it is wrong to belittle someone else because of their race, religion or sexuality, they still will find some joy in seeing others squirm while they do it. So now I'm thinking the only way to make a difference in our schools is not only to educate the sheep, and the followers, but to dissect the social structure and point out the tyranny and find out what to do with them before they corrupt anyone else. Before they graduate and become our leaders.
It's not likely to happen because people who lead are usually the loudest. The best speakers. And they have a way of sugar coating their own narcissism.
I guess that's why I wanted a place to vent. Because I'm angry about it, and yet can't seem to do anything but write about it. I'm actually asking myself what role it is that I play, and where do I fit if we are dissecting our social structure. What is it that makes me an outcast? I know that I'm not even gay but I'm a tomboy. That's strike one. A big one. I don't have a competitive bone in my body. I prefer the company of children or seniors over the adult working class. I can't swallow any type of injustice and will call people on it if I see it. I prefer to wear dark clothing and enjoy loud music. All not good, apparently. Oh - and I'm raising two girls to be independent free thinkers with their own taint on reality, and allow them to dress how they want and love who they want. Swearing and hair dying is acceptable in my house. So? I guess that's why I'm an outcast, but I'm fairly comfortable with it. As much of a hermit as I've become - I'd still like to exist in a world I can tolerant though. That means protecting my children. That means some things have to change. How that's going to happen in a society like this one - I have no idea. Maybe here on the computer - over time I can work it out.
